I have a vivid memory of bringing our first little boy home. Being a mom was all I ever wanted to be. We set his car seat down in the home we’d spent hours preparing for him and I felt a wave of emotions. My heart was heavy, and I was certain I was completely unqualified. Now, seven years into this journey, I’ve come to understand that this feeling of inadequacy is a universal emotion for moms everywhere.
Leading up to this day, I'd read stacks of books about sleep schedules and feeding routines. The reality was far different than I had ever dreamed. The wave of responsibility swept over me and I was quickly drawn under the tide. Nothing went the way we'd planned and it was a quick lesson in throwing my controlling qualities out the window.
Having a child changes you. It forces you to hold hope in one hand and fear in the other. Time becomes both your friend and an enemy.