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Everything You Need to Know about Parenting in 12 Jimmy Fallon Quotes

Ask 10 comedians who the nicest guy in comedy is and 9 of them will say "Jimmy Fallon" (and the tenth is just [messing] iwth you). But, while his gig hosting The Tonight Show requires him to hear all sorts of celebrities-with-kids-stories, he has plenty of his own as the father of 2-year-old Winnie and 9-month-old Franny. So, when he gets the chance, he gushes to anyone who will listen. Like cab drivers. The guy likes parenting so much, he wrote a book about it. Here are a few bits of parenting wisdom he's picked up and, yes, he cracks himself up when he tells him.


On His Diaper Changing Technique

"So, I don't breath through my nose, I totally plug my nose, "Oh, my god, cute baby! So cute.' And then, I have these wipes and I wipe and I wipe -- I wipe too much. At this point they're going all over the baby, I make sure there's nothing even around the baby. Then I put this diaper rash thing on that I also use, so I save money."

On The Other Fluids

"They vomit a lot. For a second, I thought I needed to rename my first 'Linda Blair' and hire a priest.'

On Bilingual Parenting

"At 10-months-ole, I had her reading foreign language books -- Donde Esta Spot? was a big one. 'Donde esta Spot?" My voice gets deeper when I read Espanole, and I don't even speak Spanish. But she doesn't know that. Then I read French like 'Bonsoir, lune?', which is 'Goodnight Moon' in French, and I definitely don't know any French. But I just keep saying things as a question? 'Bonsoir, lune? Bonsoir, balloon? Bonsoir, oatmeal? Bonsoir, tiny mouse?'"

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To finish reading his funny "advice," visit the Fatherly website:


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