Do you remember those days when getting out of the house was as simple as grabbing your purse or wallet, slipping on a pair of shoes, opening the door and leaving? Three kids later (ages 1, 3 and 5), those days are long gone in these parts. But I am happy to say that I have figured out the secret to leaving the four hallowed walls of our house. You, too, can be a pro like me if you follow these simple steps.
Step 1. Set all clocks forward in your house at least an hour.
Step 2. When you hit the hour mark, close your eyes and set the clock forward a bit more. The key here is not to know exactly how much you set it forward so that you can't just add the hour back on. "Oh, I know it's not really 9 a.m., it's actually 8 a.m." Screw yourself over. Your kids will, you may as well too.
Step 3. Realize you will never do Steps 1 and 2, even though it is a brilliant idea.
Step 4. Figure out exactly how much time you need for your kids to get up, get dressed, eat breakfast and put shoes on and multiply it by 15. Set the alarm for this time.
Step 5. Decide you would rather not get up at 1 a.m. and stick with 6:45 a.m.