The Heartbreaking Frustration of Guessing What your Child is Trying to Tell You
"What's your name?" "Oh, he's not a talker." Forced smile. Remind myself they are just being kind. That's usually my standard response. Sometimes it's misinterpreted -- fair enough really. Sometimes I'm clearer and say, "He can't talk." It can be an instant conversation stopper. Strangers' eyes glaze over. Semi sympathetic smiles are offered. I pay for our shopping and make a sharp exit. Having a nonverbal 4-year-old -- and our non-verbal is the completely nonverbal kind -- i
The 'Ah-Ha' Moment I Had when My Child with Autism Cried over a Lost Blanket
Today, like every Monday and Tuesday, I picked my daughter Piper up from school to take her to therapy. I've grown to love this routine for many reasons. I love the one-on-one time we share in the car. I love how proud she is when she finishes each session with Kate, her speech therapist. More than anything, I cherish the look of elation on her face when she spots me walking toward her. She hugs me with every ounce of love insider of her, and leaves her friends and teachers w
Why I Let my Son Play with the Mean Kid
I fully believe that bullying exists and that it is a real problem in some cases. But I also believe that the word "bully" is sometimes overused to describe a lot of age-appropriate squabbles that we can let our kids resolve on their own. Like any mom, it's hard for me to hang back and let my child battle it out with another, but if I jump in and solve every social conflict he has, he might expect me to solve all of those problems and quite frankly, I don't want him living in
8 Words that Changed how I View the Word 'Normal' after my Daughter's Autism Diagnosis
"Normal" is such a weird word. To me, it has connotations of boring, unexciting, run-of-the-mill. I would never want to be referred to as "normal" -- I feel it is bland, safe and average. But "normal" can also mean the center, the equilibrium, the thing that always happens, nothing bad, nothing too extreme, just the everyday stuff that goes on. I always felt that "normal" was some badge of acceptance, that you have managed to achieve a middling level of human ability; you wer
A Child Doesn’t Need Words to Say ‘I Love You’
Another Mother's Day has come and gone. My children have long-since drifted off to sleep, and I'm quietly reflecting on the many ways they brought joy to me today. Some of this joy was the result of intentional acts of kindness, including a beautiful bracelet made by my oldest daughter, and a heartwarming "All About Mom" book, filled in by my kindergarten-aged son. These were gifts that my children made in advance and gave to me with great anticipation. They knew it was to be
Because of You, I Almost Lost Everything
I almost lost my marriage because of you. It was the year my son named Jack was born, and you were born right along with him. At first, we had no idea. He was just a squirming chubby baby who didn't sleep too well and hated to be swaddled and cried a little more than we expected. Slowly, you made your presence known. The sleep got worse. The cries got louder. The quiet got quieter. He was sick all the time; reflux and ear infections and a deep, barking cough. Then eighteen mo
To the Mom who Forgot Her Worth
You've got this. That's what I needed to hear. Oh my, that's what I needed to hear. I wanted to be seen. To be reminded that somehow motherhood is this brave thing. To be told that, in spite of those kids who yell I hate you because I took away the computer or who dislike the dinner that I spent 30 minutes making, all the negotiating, rule-setting and dealing with little people who don’t like rules matters. I know people will tell you and me all the time that it’s just mother
Slow Down: A Mother's Day Reminder
I have a vivid memory of bringing our first little boy home. Being a mom was all I ever wanted to be. We set his car seat down in the home we’d spent hours preparing for him and I felt a wave of emotions. My heart was heavy, and I was certain I was completely unqualified. Now, seven years into this journey, I’ve come to understand that this feeling of inadequacy is a universal emotion for moms everywhere. Leading up to this day, I'd read stacks of books about sleep schedules
5 Ways to Spread Autism Awareness when April is Over
As a practitioner and mother of a child diagnosed on the spectrum, the end of April tends to be a bittersweet time for me; it’s when Autism Awareness Month comes to a close. April is a time that brings the autism community together through events that raise awareness and money for research. April is an opportunity for individuals who are not aware, to learn and open up their eyes to the world that has been blessed by people with autism. We get 30 days to connect with people w